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Post by Pikachu on Jul 26, 2008 16:47:50 GMT -5
This is Dustomega's school thread. Only him and I can post here unless you can offer some really good advice. And since we started it in a different thread, I've carrried the information over to here; Yeah, that's what I meant. *sweatdrop and doubts he is qualified to teach*. Alright then, let's think of a situation for you, a really basic one yet leaves quite a range of possibilities; Digimon Mutatio introduction. Let's say you have just woken up in the middle of a forest instead of your bedroom. As you take a look around you stumble upon a tail, and upon closer inspection you find that the tail is attached to your body. You quickly discover that you have been transformed somehow into a Gatomon (I'm feeling a bit evil today). Things that I highly suggest you consider as you type: -Reaction to waking up in the woods -Description of the woods -Movement (standing up, walking,etc.) -A reason to notice the tail (I once had a roleplay were my character 'remembered' his tail because it got slammed in a door) -Reaction to finding that the tail is attached to you. -Reaction to being a Gatomon -Speculating on what to do next. And just so you know, reaction isn't only physical, it is also mental and emotional. |
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Post by Pikachu on Jul 26, 2008 16:48:12 GMT -5
"Hm well it looks like it is time to get up" Jim though still having his eyes closed but notating the sunlight hitting them. Jim through himself in a sitting position and opening his eyes, Notating that he was in a forest "What, how did I get here" Jim shouted and started panicking looking in every direction. Jim picked himself up felling very weird and walked over to a tree and sat back down. "I fell weird" he thought shifting around and grabbing what he sat on "What is this" Jim said holding his tail. When Jim picked it up he saw that he was waring gloves with three fingers "Ok that is weird I don't remember waring gloves to bed" thought Jim. Jim still did not know what it was he was holding on to so he looked at where the thing ended at. Jim now staring at the start of his tail was now getting very scared "Oh my god, I have a tail and I am covered in wight fur" Jim said "And what is wrong with my voice?" Jim looked to his left and saw a lake "that is perfect I can see what I look like now" Jim rushed very awkwardly over to the lake and looked into it "I look like a cat, wait I know that cat but were" Jim pondered where he saw it before and than remembered "Oh god I am a Gatomon, but does that make me a girl or a male Gatomon?" Dustomega, you've been holding out on us. That was actually good (especially that last bit asking if he was male or female ;D). However, and this seems to be your weak spot, the grammar and spelling. Also, thought's should be in italics like this. while speech should be in quotation marks "like this". So if your thinking, use italics, if your speaking use these " ". Also, when your speaking it's good to separate it from the rest of the paragraph (you'll see in a moment). I tend to keep relevant points in the same paragraph as the word, though you don't need to do so. This is how it would look like with correct spelling, spacing,etc. using my own format. Now isn't that easier to read? Sure, it looks like there is a lot less stuff, but in RPing quality>quantity. However, a quality post tends to have a good amount of detail, and therefore will be a bit long. |
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Post by Pikachu on Jul 26, 2008 17:08:34 GMT -5
Think you I did not think it would be that good Okay, first off, it's "Thank you" not "Think you." You really need to work on your spelling and grammar.I'm not trying to sound mean or be a grammar Nazi, but it really is vital to be able to type a post with good grammar and spelling that way people can understand what your saying. Now, I'm not going to be nitpicky and get on to you about things like the difference between "lie" and "lay" or "affect" and "effect", but I will get on to you if you don't capitalize, puncuate,etc. Now then, let's move on. We've got yourself a decent opening post, but since a thread is more than an opening post, we got to have something for your person to respond to. Now then, when your typing your response, consider these things; -There was some time between your panic and Agumon arriving. Use that window of oppurtunity to have your character reflect a little bit more on the changes. -How does your character react when Agumon arrives but hasn't spoken. -How does your character react when Agumon speaks to them. -Inner Conflict; Does your person want to risk telling them or just lie? Consider pros and cons of the decision. -How does your person talk to Agumon? Are they sounding surprised, panicked, worried, etc. Remember to be detailed and descriptive. The more you give me the more I can with to make a response. |
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Post by Dustomega on Jul 28, 2008 11:31:28 GMT -5
Gatomon stoped looking at her reflection, "I can't beleave that I am a female Digimon, out of all the ones I could have been that were male"
As she was complaneing she saw one of her faveorit digimon, Agumon, walking to her.
Oh wow, an Agumon Gatomon though
"Um no, I don't have fleas. I was um." I wonder, should I tell him I was a human. If I do he might think I am crazy, or he would belive me and might tell others I was human. Do I really want other digimon to know I was human. Maybe I should, I mean what is the worse that could happen Gatomon thought. "Um I don't know if you beleave me, but I was a human last night and woke up as a Digimon."
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Post by Pikachu on Jul 28, 2008 12:50:55 GMT -5
Gatomon stoped looking at her reflection, "I can't beleave that I am a female Digimon, out of all the ones I could have been that were male" As she was complaneing she saw one of her faveorit digimon, Agumon, walking to her. Oh wow, an Agumon Gatomon though "Um no, I don't have fleas. I was um." I wonder, should I tell him I was a human. If I do he might think I am crazy, or he would belive me and might tell others I was human. Do I really want other digimon to know I was human. Maybe I should, I mean what is the worse that could happen Gatomon thought. "Um I don't know if you beleave me, but I was a human last night and woke up as a Digimon." Again, it seems your getting the idea here. Grammar and spelling still killing you, though this time it wasn't as bad. Also, I think that there are male Gatmon out there, but you actually did something good there; gave yourself a cause for inner conflict. Male human in a female Digimon body, a mental-straining situation indeed. Now then, correction times; And a reply post Things to consider; -Reaction to being laughed at. Angry? Depressed? -What kind of tone of voice is being used when you talk to the Agumon? -Now that you have seen his reaction, are you going to second guess your decision to tell him? |
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Post by Dustomega on Jul 28, 2008 13:26:29 GMT -5
I should have know he would have thought I was ling. Gatmon thought Depressed that he did not believing her.
Well of course he would not bereave me, I mean if I met someone that said he was Digimon turned into a human I would laugh at him to. If I keep telling him I was human he would ask for proof, and I don't think have any.
That is when Gatomon saw the Digivice hanging on her arm.
"No Agumon, I am not ling about being human. See, I have a Digivice, only a human would be giving a Digivice. Gatomon said with a smile and an uplifting voice.
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Post by Pikachu on Jul 28, 2008 14:03:16 GMT -5
I should have know he would have thought I was ling. Gatmon thought Depressed that he did not believing her. Well of course he would not bereave me, I mean if I met someone that said he was Digimon turned into a human I would laugh at him to. If I keep telling him I was human he would ask for proof, and I don't think have any.That is when Gatomon saw the Digivice hanging on her arm. "No Agumon, I am not ling about being human. See, I have a Digivice, only a human would be giving a Digivice. Gatomon said with a smile and an uplifting voice. I think you're starting to get the idea, so I'm only going to correct the grammar mistakes. The biggest one was that in that bit you said "only a human would be giving a Digivice...". In context that should say "only a human would be given a Digivice. Also, "believing" should be "believe". Practice working on tenses. I think you've gotten the idea of what you should do. I'm going to you have passed the course, though if you ever feel you need a refresher I'll be glad to help out. |
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Yeah, that's what I meant. *sweatdrop and doubts he is qualified to teach*.
